he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
