She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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