Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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