i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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