I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
