billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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