i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
