you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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