Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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