Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
