you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
