the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
