Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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