watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
