Did you just see the Batmobile???
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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