Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
