all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
