508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
