We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
