theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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