I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
