its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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