ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
