How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
