i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize