is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize