walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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