Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
