My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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