I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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