are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize