We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
