Me too!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize