I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
