let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
