oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
