winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
