no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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