I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
