Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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