We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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