No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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