just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
