We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
