Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
