so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
