You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
