I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
