South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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