Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
