Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize