did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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