just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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