remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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