He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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