yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
