so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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