Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
