I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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