I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize