I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
