i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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